STFU ABOUT "I MISS YOU"

To all those people who say they miss their significant other, and you haven’t seen them for a few hours or maybe a day or two, and are going to see them later either when getting home from work or school or meeting up with them later in the  evening or the week. Please stop telling me how much you miss them.

I know people who aren’t able to see the ones they love for long periods of time, because of their job or something similar. I’m one of these people, the one person I love quite a bit is far away, a 14 hour drive, and I won’t be able to see them until thanksgiving and only then for a few days before I have to return. Sure I get to speak with my lovely Austin every evening but I miss him so much. It is one thing talking with them and it’s another being able to be around them. The last time I saw my love was back in August, and I do know when I get to see him next.

Sure it is hard being in a long distance relationship, especially if before it was a long distance relationship you spent every available moment with them, after work and on weekends before they left. Not having them close is so hard, no one to go to when you are sad, no one to give you hugs or ask how was your day after a long day. No one to cuddle up to when it’s cold and to watch a movie or just to sit and say nothing, just enjoying each others company in silence.

So stop, just stop and think about what you are saying. Sure you do miss them, but I don’t want to think about it because every single day I miss Austin more than you will know unless you experience something similar to it. Others, well mostly me, don’t want to hear it or see it posted, because I can be doing the same thing every single day that goes by when I haven’t seen him. I know if I did that every single day people would get annoyed with it, and most of the time simply not even care.

So keep your “I miss you” posts and whatnot to yourself. The entire world doesn’t care and it’s not like they can make you feel better either, that being said only a few close friends might sincerely care about it. Better yet just let the one you love know how much you miss them, and I bet they probably miss you just as much. Letting them know just shows how much you really care about them, how important they are to you and how much it sucks that they aren’t around.

And always tell them how much you love them, they love hearing that too.   

Austin ...

Love of my life... the end.

MANY DAYS AGO YOU WHERE REALLY MISSED

She was getting ready to go over and visit his home even though he wasn’t going to be there at all and probably won’t be for a very long time. She brought what she needed for her short visit in a cardboard box and her book bag. In the box where a few changes of clothes, some food for the pantry, her loveable plush and a few other necessary items for her visit. She had to get a ride over there since she didn’t own a car let alone traveling by bus would take about 2 hours, and carrying the box after awhile tired out the arms quite a bit.

She got dropped off in the evening, her sunbeam’s sister also lived in the same house so she was there to open the door. Once she walked in she was automatically greeted. She dropped off the food in the kitchen and spoke with his sister for a bit. It had been about 10 days since she last saw him or heard his lovely voice. After a brief conversation with his sister, she went to drop off the rest of her things in his room that as of now no one had really been inside of.

She climbed the stairs, box in hand and book bag over her shoulder. When she had reached the top of the stairs and started to turn to go down the corridor and approaching his room, her eyes started to water and right before she entered she broke out in tears, nearly dropping the box and all of its contents. She gentle removed the book bag and collapsed onto the bed that hadn’t been slept in for the past two weeks.

She lay there in the bed sobbing into the blankets for a few minutes and thinking of how much she misses the love of her life. She can’t believe that he is gone and that now here she, is at his house, in his room crying about how much she misses seeing him, talking with him, hugging him as well as listening to what he has to say. She knows that for now the letters that she is sending him will make him smile and hopefully he will write back when he gets the time. She also knows that this is only temporary, that being separated from one another is for only a short time and that after this is over they will be reunited. That however sounds so easy, but the fact is that he is a significant part if her life just like she is a significant part of his life as well, and that the biggest hurdle is not seeing one another or communicating in real time. They both need the comfort if the other. As she lay sobbing into the blankets she drew these conclusions, the final one being that he loves her very much, and knowing this she slowly started to overcome the fact that he isn’t here for the time being.

She got up from his bed and decided the best way to miss him less was to stop weeping about how much she misses him and that she still needed to get a few things done before bed. She left the room, rearranged their side of the bathroom with the glass for the brushes and paste, the bunny soap dish and the mouthwash. She then went downstairs into the kitchen to preoccupy herself with washing the dishes. Even though it took her awhile to do them she thought about all of the good memories that she had with the love of her life in this house. One of them was when he first invited her over and they made omelets and when they played so many games at the dinner table like dominos and scrabble. She remembered how nice the feeling of his arms wrapped around her felt and the touch of his lips when they kissed her neck. She thought about all of the emotions that she had experienced with him from being extremely happy to the very few times when sadness had filled her mind. She remembered all of these things. After washing the dishes she went to go and write to him, because writing to him makes her feel happy that in a few days he will be reading what she wrote. She made it back upstairs, telling his sister goodnight.

This time she entered the room, she was a bit more prepared but there was still a lot of memories in that room. A few tears did end up streaming down her cheeks, but as she began to write to him, her emotions stabilized and she began to smile as the words formed on the page. Pretty soon however those tears of sadness turned into tears of happiness. She couldn’t see what she was writing so she stopped, put down her pen with the final words being “I love you”. She curled up into a ball underneath the blankets in his shirt and fell asleep.

In the morning she awoke, with a smile on her face. She lay in bed and remembered the look of her loves face when he slept next to her, with a little smile on his face more than half the time. How his arm and shoulder would be exposed over the blanket, clutching the blanket with his hand as if holding on for dear life. How when he would get up, he would stretch his muscular arms and how she would give him a good morning kiss, the perfect way of saying hello.

Those days will come back again and very soon there will be plenty of kisses sent his way, because he deserves every single one of them that he receives form her, for being the amazing person that has become her best friend, her one and only shining sunbeam. She considers him one of the luckiest men in the world, and she considers herself as one of the luckiest ladies, for being with such an amazing and excellent man, who loves her very, very much just like how she loves him very, very much.

For the rest of the time, her day got better and better, sure some things sparked more memories, but all she did was remember them with a smile on her face.

The next day though made her entire week, she finally got to hear his voice, and how much he misses her. He finally got to make a phone call and the person he wanted to speak with most was her, this brought tears to her eyes, but they didn’t get to stream down her cheek. Even though their conversation was brief it made her glow with excitement that up to this very moment she is still smiling about it. Now all she looks forward to is hearing from him again, reading the letters that he will send and maybe if he is lucky, him calling her and speaking just to hear her voice and for her just to listen to his.

Sure it has been awhile since they last saw each other and the days grow further and further apart from that moment, but at the same time the days in which they will see one another again come closer and closer. This is what they should be looking forward to and it might be hard to imagine that that day will come, but it will and before they know it they will be embracing each other.

Time only seems to take it slowly only if you allow it, and having things to do to pass the time will make time fly by to the most important moments.

SO ABOUT THIS BUYING MORE STAMPS BUSINESS…

… as some of you might know I’ve been writing every single day to my lovely man Austin. He loves the letters I send, and I love receiving and reading the ones he sends to me. I haven’t seen him in about 47 days, and I finally get to see him next week but only for a very short period of time. I’ve decided that this is the last week that I can send him any last letters, since if I where to send them next week it would be pointless since I be finally seeing him. I think after normal means of communication are brought back that I will stop sending him these letters, however part of me wants to still send one every week or so. 

If you don’t know why I can only send him letters, it is because that is currently the only way he can communicate with his loved ones and hence the sending of letters. 

So my main thought right now is what sort of stamps should I get LOL plus what sort of new stationary I should get. It turns out that I really enjoy writing to him, and if I miss a day it just feels odd, as if I am missing something. 

Anywho just felt like sharing… 

:) 

And yes that is the last stamp I currently have.

I need to start using this again...

Was browsing through my posts and I've got to say that I have to start using this blog again, at least for more personal posts, such as stories, my opinions on what I think of a certain film that I recently viewed, and mini updates how things are going. 

This image has nothing to do with what I've been saying.

Well those of you who know me personally know that I am with a very amazing man by the name of Austin. Those of you who don't know, well now you know. He just recently went off to basic training for the Air Force and for 8 and a half weeks I have to occupy myself with school as well as work, so by the time I get to see him again my summer semester will be over. Well I am not going to reveal all that too much about us on here but I have to say one thing and it's that I love him very much and nothing can get between us. On top of that while he is in basic training the only way we can communicate with him is via letters, so I am getting to write more. 

Austin:

Currently also taking 3 summer courses which are as follows:

1. Organizational Management (a.k.a Stats part 2 for me)

2. Fundamentals of Finance

3. Organization Design

Out of the three listed the first two are the ones that interest me the most currently because the lectures can get quite interesting and they are the first two of my school day, when I am still in the state of caring and listening. They also happen to be in the same building which is always cold because they decide to blast the A/C all the time, so in betweens classes I have to go sit outside for about 10 minutes to warm myself up in the hot sun. Well that's my summer course work for you.

As for when it comes to my job I recently got promoted along with my friend Elizabeth to the Book Floor Lead positions. Super happy about it.

Here are a few photos of Denver:

The starts glittered in the darkness of the night sky, and as they gazed through the window into the room, you sat there and said nothing. No noise was made and there was, an ever so slight whimper came from what seemed to sound like crying.

Your eyes filled with tears, like a reservoir does with water and over the edge they spill out, rolling over the sides of your eyes. The salty tears stream down your warm cheek, leaving a trail of moisture on the top of the skin. It builds up and then falls off your chin, travelling down like a crystal orb, until it shatters into nothingness in the carpet.

The emotions you feel are frustration, and you think through your thoughts, wondering how did this moment get here, what led up to it. You sit quietly and stare into the darkness looking at a light in the distance, it flickers now and then, but you don’t notice, your mind is pre-occupied and is elsewhere.

You think of the people that you love, and you wonder if the emotions you are showing now are true to oneself. You exude so much love and affection, but you are uncertain if those feelings are shard with the one you love or are they exclusively only yours. Is every thought that you have about the one you love and cherish, becoming a sick and twisted mind game? Tricking you into not loving them no more? Making your relationship more and more difficult because you are afraid of what will be said if you try and express your true feelings and thoughts.

As some time passes you continue to sit with your knees to your chest, just staring and thinking about the same thoughts over and over again.  You realize what you are thinking must be expressed so that nothing is held back and so that everything is exposed.

Sitting here staring off into the starry night sky thinking these thoughts will not help you over come what needs to be confronted. You get up from your little thought bubble; walk through the darkness until you find your love. You find them and from there things begin to form into what might seems as a tough and grueling conversation, but in the end you still love them, maybe even more than you did before.

P.S. I love you (a lot)! 

Infinitely Ongoing.

The blank soulless eyes stared down from the deep blue sky onto the luscious green and thriving earth. They didn't blink and their gaze didn't change, they just stared hoping someone would look up and notice the darkness of its pupils seeping from the sky onto the earth.

The earth continued to rotate itself in front of these soulless eyes. It spun in a way that the surface was constantly changing for the viewer, with moving oceans, throbbing back and forth, and the clouds obstructing the view of certain areas of greens, blues and browns. The cities constantly pulsing with electrifying energy, morphing into new forms.

The eyes watched these patterns and was fascinated at how quickly everything changes on this luscious planet. How they never blinked, and never got tired of just gazing at something in constant motion, wondering why everything was the way it was and why the entities that embodied this planet needed to be in constant motion; changing in one way or another.

It watched as things came from earth and where shot into the sky, past the gazing eyes deep into the vast universe. It watched as there where uprisings and how death came on very swift wings down upon the entities that roamed this restricting planet they call home. Wars came and went, as well as the spread of horrid diseases that came from unknown parts for unknown reasons; death was king and life supplied death with an endless supple of things to devour. Death ate and ate. The entities that roamed the planet figured out a way to put a stopper on death and its game. Life continued to produce, even though the entities had slowed death down and its habits.

Everything was thriving again and the black soulless eyes continued to gaze down onto the planet it had been watching for so long. Then one day it noticed that something was staring back, and in a split second the soulless eyes finally blinked and in a blinding flash of light everything had disappeared, back into stardust, just as it had started so many eons ago. Into a fine powder that would travel through the universe until it is once again formed into a new start with constantly moving entities that the soulless eyes can watch until someone sees them once again and have the cycle repeat itself infinitely.

The End.