Here I am, with a full time job that pays a decent wage. I've gotten to move up in the company that I am at, but my true passions lay elsewhere.
I am missing my artist instinct ever since I've been working full time. No time for volunteering, no time for reading and as a result - no time for my art.
Being tired is what keeps dragging the soul down, further and further into a place where it is void. A dark space where all the inspiration is drowned out, where there is no escape. There is hope, but getting out will take some significant effort. It is like swimming in a never ending ocean, where one can see the shore but the days and nights pass, and you aren't any closer.
I've seen my artist friends whom I went to school with doing these amazing pieces and it really inspires me to make more of my own art and post it. I know writing is one of the mediums I enjoy, however taking a brush or crayon or pencil to some heavy paper is the most satisfying feeling ever.
Looking at my fellow artists, the inspiration grows and I keep on staring, in awe.
What can I do that is that magnificent?
Will it have the same effect?
What will happen next?
I'll ask myself these questions, but after some careful thought, the inspiration goes away. Knowing that whatever I produce won't have the same effect on people as their work has on me. People will not pay attention and in the end I end up being disappointed in all the work I've ended up creating and in the end I end up destroying the pieces that brought me some happiness.
I am a failed artist. My artist block has been created and finding a way out is proven difficult.
However, I know I'll find a way out...there is always a way out if you look for it.
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